My Story

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Roaring Forward

I became initially fascinated with the power of the brain and mind, after watching a documentary with Dr. Wilder Penfield's work on memories, emotions; being stored in different parts of the human brain. 

Then at the age of 17,after I read the Power of Positive Thinking, the book led me to an avalanche of self-development books stating, that as long as you think positive thoughts; you can become happy and successful in life.

Today, there is overwhelming evidence from many areas, such as epigenetics, neuroplasticity, neurogenesis, psychoneuroimmunology, electromagnetism, quantum physics (where all matter is created and is essentially energy), that prove that our thoughts, emotions and feelings emit an electrical and chemical charge equivalent (hence an energetic vibration), contained within our blood, our 50-70 trillions of cells and within our vital organs (such as the heart, liver, intestines and kidneys) and muscles, that create order (ease) or disorder (dis-ease) in the body.

It was an eye-opening moment, to learn, that the mind is primarily in a subconscious state (or in the 90-95% invisible 'background' of our mind) and the remaining conscious state (or the 5-10% visible 'foreground' of our mind).

Ultimately, our early (core) self-identity, of who we are, has been created and internalised by us, through our past experiences and its respective meaning or interpretation from our early childhood experiences, when the brain was still primarily in theta and delta brain wave states. This is also a period, when all external stimuli were absorbed (without it being filtered or scrutinised) and hence, everything is taken in or accepted at face value by the senses. As a result, not understanding it fully and then internalising or personalising certain events or others' reactions as true, factual or real. 

A child is neither adequately, nor expected to be prepared, to take on this judgement of themselves (let alone the responsibility at that young age), of truly understanding, on their own and for themselves, what is healthy or acceptable behaviour from others (i.e. their parents or guardians). 

That usually arrives or is accrued with time and life experiences, in terms of becoming aware, who at that age is responsible for certain (basic) behaviours, actions and outcomes, especially when at that developmental stage, a child would usually wholeheartedly trust and place complete faith in their adult carers.

Fast forward, after university, I started to become more aware of the (or my) mind's mechanics, because I noticed that all my active (conscious) efforts of sheer will, drive, persistence and hard work were not bringing in the expected outcomes and results, from my work and life.

At the time, I believed, I was on my way to greater heights in my life, that led to a new high paying role or to eventually start a successful business, pay off my mortgage earlier and provide more for my family, in terms of time with them and the resources, for a more pleasant, fun and fulfilling life together.

However, things did not go to plan. Why? I reached my 'success ceiling', on how high I could go, in terms of success -- according to my subconscious. I had an unconscious ceiling block or likely many blocks (that were beyond my day-to-day awareness). Beyond that point (at that time), it was considered (i.e. in my subconscious) -- not for me. Today, I would say, I unknowingly and unconsciously placed a limit (due to unconscious faulty programming on my part) on the potential, of how good enough or deserving I was for success and fulfillment.

This kickstarted a very long and equally challenging emotional struggle, which included a lot of pain, tears, breakups, heartaches and countless 'dark nights of the soul', that I questioned if I could continue, living through such a long-term ordeal (meanwhile, thinking and feeling like a victim (including a lot of worrying and fearing), which really went against who I was and my belief in myself, that I am a good and capable person. 

The constant question, that was surfacing in my mind: "Why is this happening to me?"

Eventually, getting to or at least trying to get past my ego and circumstances; I asked a different question: "What am I doing wrong?"

I also believed, I was doing everything right, that I needed to do. I asked people, read books and articles of successful people, kept improving who I was (at least I thought I was) and tried to even 'reinvent myself', in the best way I could and that my resources would allow me to. I followed the advice of the 'successful' people; by working harder, trying harder, put in the extra time and so I worked all days, including weekends, staying up very late, sleeping less and drinking a lot of coffee and energy drinks, just to be a few steps ahead, to succeed. 

So, why was I getting the opposite results?

Eventually, after 10 years of massive struggle, and a lot of physical and emotional pain filled with massive stress and major fear, debilitating headaches, serious stomach upsets, brain fog, fluctuating weight gains, grief, setbacks and losses, which included two heart attacks; I finally realised something was seriously - not right. 

For the first time in my life, I was also starting to lack the energy to go on, and my body felt, 'as if it was falling apart' and my gut feeling was telling me; the causes were emotional (or deep-rooted) and not about maxing my work output (even more). 

Even with that insight, I naively still thought (at least my ego did), that if I keep pushing, something would change. I was not fully convinced yet, that something drastic had to change, even though my intuition was telling me otherwise and I was trying to mute it (or maybe 'tell it, to shut up') and carry on with more persistence (as I did not believe, there were other options that I could try to do, to help my situation).

As a result, I kept pushing harder and upstream, essentially 'drowning' and barely surviving emotionally, physically, professionally and financially.

It also felt that I had to do it (that there was no other way), that this had to be the way, I was wired or taught, from my family upbringing, because I felt a kinship or a relatedness, to being a survivor. However, there came a point, that this had to stop or I would die trying. 

I remember, saying out loud, "I can't take any more of this, this has to stop; no more!"

Rising

It was one of the darkest moments of my life, because it felt like living hell, specifically when I was awake, because it felt like a nightmare and - only then - when I was asleep, I could escape it and find refuge for a few hours. This certainly was not what life was all about. It was my mother and family's upbringing, that kept me going and my obligations to my mother and to others; to ultimately not give up and keep going. I noticed, it was not (only) about trying even harder and putting in more effort. I had to do something different, change my approach, somehow adapt (or I would cease to exist - prematurely).   

I chose to - finally - work on the less known part of my mind (and yet paradoxically the most powerful part of the mind), because I sensed, this is not normal, there is (definitely) something else, I have to do and become, in order for things, to be easier and more free flowing in my life; especially as other people were successful and fulfilled in their lives (and not dying in the process).

I understood that my subconscious (the dark side or shadow) was trying to tell me something and I admitted to myself, that there were some unresolved blocks (or issues) inside me, that required my attention, if I wanted to progress in my life, towards my potential and who I am meant to become.

In my search for greater understanding, I read that the subconscious remembers everything: good and bad things (as memories). These can include moments of great pride, hurtful events or instances that some people would like 'to lock up in a box'. These - at times - are intense stressful and traumatic moments that are (energetically) stored or 'trapped' in the body - which is called somatisation.

I then decided to honestly 'really look' at my blocks - those subconscious barriers that were blocking the life that I yearned for: to be happy, fulfilled and successful. 

On one of those very dark nights, I made a promise to myself and the higher power, that if and when I come out of this, I will dedicate myself and commit my future, to help others understand the subconscious mind, and to help them overcome potential blocks and obstacles that it could create.

Rebuilding 

I started by taking stock of how I thought and felt every day and decided to think and feel constructively. First, starting with gratitude. I then gradually changed my morning routine, habits, created clearer goals and took small steps each day, towards them. 

I also re-introduced exercise (being a former competitive bodybuilder) and started a healthier food plan and shed 50 pounds (from a body fat measurement of 24% to 5.3%), that was achieved from healthy nutritional food, weight training and sprints.

I also decided to leave my career in human resources and recruitment and re-engage with my passion of psychology and a person's life potential, and to help people understand and self-regulate the innate power of their subconscious mind.

It was definitely a challenging (and still ongoing) journey, to change myself, to let go of the old (and known) habitual emotional patterns and retake my power (and mind) back; bit by bit, towards self-compassion and loving who I am and wish to become.

I then started working with clients, around the world (remotely), with a variety of challenges, such as trauma, fear, loss, guilt, emotional and physical addiction, unworthiness, codependence, loss of purpose, obesity, vertigo and then with autoimmune conditions/diseases (eg. ulcerative colitis, lupus and rheumatoid arthritis) that brought about amazing results and transformations, because of the focus on dealing with the emotional traumatic experiences 'living' in their subconscious (and ultimately their body).

These emotional stressors can be expressed as stress/distress, anxiety, fear, panic, trauma, emotional and physical pain and suffering, victimisation and other related states; all of which impair the immune system, especially chronic emotional stress/distress and how it can influence our genetic expression/genetic blueprint, to create harmful proteins that can lead to disease and death.

As I reflect today, I recall a famous Steve Jobs quote, "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future."

I also look back on so many people that I've known, heard and read about, family and relatives. Many of whom, have thought and felt negatively about their life, predicament and I saw a gradual  and - at times - fast deterioration of their physical health (after a certain events or a chain of events), by the way they thought and felt. Some of them acted like a victim, lacked purpose and others essentially gave up on life. 

Today, my purpose is to bring a greater awareness and clarity of the role of emotions, thoughts and feelings (and its impact, from within the subconscious mind on the body); all of which can be stored in the muscles and tissues of the body. 

I believe, we have an obligation to ourselves and humanity, to be aware of our state of mind and to become discerning of our thoughts and emotions and towards eventually observing our thoughts, emotions and feelings and ultimately understand its roots and causes; by noticing the effects it has brought us.

Specifically, for people living with autoimmune conditions/diseases, it will include a process of changing their mindset or 'upgrading their subconscious', by helping them change their beliefs, behaviours, perceptions, emotions and feelings, towards releasing that 'old iron grip' of emotional limitations/addictions, trauma and past emotional memories and empower them to experience hope, emotional and physical relief, new possibilities, the belief in a better life, and ultimately freedom and peace in their mind, body and lives - as an integrated whole.

With blessed joy and appreciation, my life path is sprouting and growing and consists of becoming more of whom I am as a soul, spirit, mind, body and with a life purpose, that I am sharing with people worldwide through client work (in person, remotely and online), talks and workshops. 

I believe, I am (alongside others) at the beginning of this amazing transformational journey. 

Thank you for taking the time in reading this heartfelt message. 

Always wishing you peace and great health,

Matt Corey

matt@theautoimmunepsychologist.org